20 Things Children Truely Need For School

A friend e-mailed me a story she couldn't wait to tell me. She'd gone out to fetch the newspaper when she saw two little girls - ages 5 and 7, she guessed - all dressed up for the first day of school. And their dad was snapping their picture.

"It caused me to reflect on when my kids started school," she wrote. "That first day was a mixed bag, because if you were a mom with the kids in the house all summer, you were looking forward to some piece and quiet. But in the same vein, it was another year gone. ..."

Reading her note, I suddenly realized I never made pictures of my kids on their first day of school. What was a thinking?

Wait. I remember. I was thinking, "Please, God, help me get them in the car because my oldest can't find her shoes, and my youngest threw up and my daughter hates how I braided her hair. And if we don't leave now we're going to be late because I might kill them. And, God? Please let the car start."

Motherhood is indeed a "mixed bag," not just on the first day of school. From the day they are born, we start pushing them out of the nest with one hand and pulling them back with the other.

I don't have pictures of my children on their first day of school, but I have memories. I wish you could see them.

This is what I think children need for school. It's a fun read.

1. A No. 2 pencil and a willingness to erase.

2. A respect for themselves and others, especially their teachers.

3. An awareness that the world does not revolve around them and that they alone are responsible for their actions.

4. Parents (or grandparents) who teach by example a love for reading, learning and life.

5. An assurance that school is a good, safe place; their teaches will like them; and their parents won't leave town without them.

6. An understanding that school is their "job" and no one else can or will do it for them.

7. A system for exchanging communication between school and home; a backpack for notes; an emergency phone number that always answers; a quiet place and time to do homework; a daily chance to read aloud and be read to.

8. A plan for getting to and from school on time.

9. A pet to care for.

10. A public library card.

11. Someone to welcome them home; laugh at their jokes; answer thei questions; listen to what they say and don't say.

12. The power of knowing how it feels to give anonymously and sacrificially to help someone less fortunate.

13. The encouragement to try new things; the freedom to fail; and the chance to try again.

14. The gifts of being well fed, well rested, well mannered and well covered for medical, dental and after-school care.

15. The confidence to deal with bullies (stand up straight, look them in the eye, don't start a fight, but don't back down); how to ask questions (raise your hand and wait to be called on); and to never stop asking questions, especially "why?"

16. To be the best or at least pretty good at something; and to know that it's OK not to be good at everything.

17. To spend more time with humans and less with machines.

18. To have nothing to do once in a while but daydream.

19. To have someone love them unconditionally, regardless of their grades; someone to "beam" at them, to light up when they walk into the room.

20. Finally, they need to know that school won't last forever, but learning is a lifelong process.

And even if their mom forgets to make pictures, she'll always think they look pretty cute.